Even though we had the discussion
of what it really mean to “come of age” and what Coming-of-Age means, the whole
concept has been taking up my thoughts since. Many ideas came up when the class
talked about it, mostly revolving around the notion that when someone “comes of
age”, it’s ultimately their thoughts of what it means to come of age that
determines when they come of age. While I agree with most of this, I also think
that to “come of age” personally is different than “coming of age” in a sense
that the rest of the world would realize. For instance, if a child (say they
are about 8 or so) decides they have grown up and feel like they have past the
point in life where they consider they’ve “come of age”, would literally anyone
else in the world see that as well? I mean, they’re 8 years old! Point being,
if anyone older came along, the most likely outcome of the child saying they’ve
“come of age” is disbelief and the pity of the older person who knows the child
hasn’t even begun to experience what the real world is like. This isn’t to say
that traumatic events, being forced to be older than you are (i.e. managing
siblings for parents because it is physically impossible for them to), or life
experiences couldn’t push the threshold closer, but in most cases you have much
more to live though before I think you could consider yourself to “come of
age”.
In
all, as much as I feel that “coming of age” is determined by your own notions
of what it means and when in time you feel it applies, I feel that whatever
society you belong to also influences this event. For instance, even though the
ages of 13, 16, 18, and 21 are arbitrary, society has given those ages some
sort of importance. The age 13 is really just a time where the suffix of the
number associated changes to –teen, thus making the teenage years. It can be
seen as some step closer to adulthood. 16 has, for whatever reason in the
United States, been determined to be the time where you are able to get your
driver’s license which is seen as a rite of passage. Similarly, 18 is also an
age that is seen as a rite of passage towards adulthood. If you think about it,
most people consider 21 to be the age at which you become an adult.
In
the end, I feel that “coming of age” is never a set time, but rather a series
of events. Not exactly a set series of events, but something that is really
influential. Also, even though I’ve just said that you determine when you come
of age, with how ingrained those ages and their meanings I mention before, I am
quite certain that those also have a sort of determining factor that perhaps
you use to measure your coming of age or perhaps others inside your life do.
I definitely agree with you that there is nothing specific that determines that you have come of age. The coming of age transition phase is not very clear cut. It is different for every person. A single event may change someone's life, whereas it may take several years for another person. But, it is also true that society may force you to grow up faster than you want. For example, when you are 18 years old, you are expected to be an adult and take care of yourself. But what if you don't feel ready? 18 is just a random number that society has chosen for you. In a different culture the number might be 15. So, I think that there are a number of factors that influence how you grow up.
ReplyDeleteThis way of viewing the coming-of-age question seems to me very closely aligned with how Joyce treats the subject in _Portrait_. We rarely get a clear account of Stephen's age, or external measures of his development, and throughout the novel he feels "older" internally than people see him as externally. The whole notion of structuring the narrative not around commonly agreed-upon rites of passage or landmarks of development but around the individual's private "epiphanies" reflects your own view that these private, internal--not necessarily visible--moments of growth and development mark the true process of coming of age. In this view, any of us could have our own, highly personalized novel reflecting our own unique journey through this process: "A Portrait of a [Whatever] as a Young Man or Woman."
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