After some thought, and seeing just how Benji and Reggie's life is, I'm debating just how their home life affected them and if it was really a good or bad thing. Specifically, the fact that they are left alone all week for nearly every week of the Summer. I'm on edge with whether or not them being home all alone is a good or bad thing considering their home life.
In general, Benji and Reggie seem to have their life in order alone during the week what with having their own jobs and being functional human beings. They seem to get along with the other kids in Sag Harbor and are establishing their own identities through emerging cultures. They also don't seem to mind not having their parents around for a variety of reasons. With this however, whatever lessons their parents gave them (however many or few that actually is) aren't enforced and they are left to figure out how to deal with life by themselves. Normally I'd say this can be acceptable for parenting, letting the children figure out life by themselves, but not to this extent. Without either parent at home for a significant period of time over the Summer, there isn't much opportunity to form better relations within the family and at certain periods, this really shows. Part of this disconnect can be based off of previous years, as Ben mentions later in the novel when the cookout is described, but I'd say that due to experiences like the cookout, moments like that every once in a while don't really chalk up to a functional family.
To me there really isn't a clear distinction to whether or not being left alone most of the Summer is a good or bad thing because each has valid reasons I think. Being left alone means that Benji and Reggie are able to determine their direction over the course of the Summer, be able to get a chance to be independent and self-sustaining, and get time away form what seems to be an abusive father. Being left alone also means that can't form an effective relationship with their parents over the course of the Summer which most likely would affect the time to come, have to artificially be of age and control their own life (debatable if this is a negative or positive), and have little positive parental influence. To Benji and Reggie, they're quite fine with being left to their own devices as Ben hardly mentions his parents until the chapter where it is explicitly about them. Maybe in the future Ben regrets this as he brings up the point of not knowing why they never defended their mother from their father, but at the time, they seemed content about having no parents around for the extended time that they were away.
I agree that there definitely needs to be spacial boundaries between parents and their kids, especially during the teen years, as it allows them to discover who they are, how to work through problems, learn independency, etc. It was a little bit surprising for me that Benji and Reggie had so much time alone, especially for their age. However, there was no school that they had to get to everyday, no auto transportation was necessary, as they could find rides from friends, or bike/walk most places. So it seems like they were fine on their own, right? But yeah, not really, because it is definitely evident that their family life was disjointed and tense.
ReplyDeleteI think in general, being left alone for a bit is fine (and even nice), but when you're left alone constantly, it can be unhealthy? Like, Benji and Reggie both seem responsible for the most part (I mean, they even have jobs), but when you don't have authority figures around, you can start slacking off in certain areas. Take the way they avoid chores until the last minute or the types of meals they eat. That's not particularly awful, and I guess it could help them become more independent, but I don't know. Though, taking into account their family life, maybe it would be for the best. Too much tension and worry, I think, would be even more unhealthy.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this, I can definitely see the bad side to them being home alone. But, as I was reading the novel I couldn't help but be jealous of all their freedom. I think that as a teenager, it sounds awesome to get to be home alone all summer, but it definitely also has a big impact on Benji and Reggie's family life.
ReplyDeleteI think you bring up a good point. Even though it can be good to have some space between parents and their children, Benji's case was kind of extreme. Even though they are able to function pretty well by themselves, it's good to have some structure and family around.
ReplyDeleteIs being left home alone good/bad for the coming of age of a child is an interesting question. Further, I think it's interesting to think about what it does to a coming of age novel to set the child in a world without parents. Jason and Stephen both lived with their parents and their parents' world often influenced them. Although they both had their own world their parents were often oblivious to. Esther and Holden's independence allowed for their story to have an instant maturity that comes with being alone.
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